Hey folks, here is a five chapter review of MONSTERS.
Publication date: Summer 2018
Global Retail Distributor Contract: Ingram Distribution
An RJ Smith Production
SETTING THE PACE
THIS STORY is about monsters.
I’m not writing gobbledygook… for time is of the essence, my bones are getting on in age, the knees are creaking and popping. My vision is beginning to blur… and no, there’s no time to slide into pajamas.
The party is almost over.
Grandfather time is moving, his hands are sweeping ‘round the clock-face like a ticking bomb; stealing my lifetime, eroding those future decades of hope and opportunities, yet realizing my days are whittling away to the ultimate prize that is sure to come thumping at the door of life.
Knock, knock, knock…
I think, we all know who that might be.
Considering whether or not to open that perplexing door, the minutes slow, the blackness surrounds me, and the dice I roll hits snake eyes. I’m a goner, with only these words left behind to remind the world I lived, cried and laughed in the face of despair. My flesh will soon be consumed by flames, the ashes sprinkled on some sugar sand beach, the preacher speaking hyped up memories.
That’ll be it for The Master of Suspense; goodbye, sayonara, turn the dog-eared page and hope to read me again. So, I don’t have time for fables, yet I need a bit to nibble at the bone for as long as my flesh is capable of withstanding that unbearable sound…
Knock, knock, knock…
Do I open the door and accept my inevitable slog to the headstone?
However, none of that has anything to do with our purpose here; this is something entirely different, and that being the case… I say screw any thought of lullabies and tape pulled over my eyes.
Let’s not answer the door just yet.
So, here we go. If you’re looking for rainbows and cotton candy, go browse the fairytale isle; we don’t need you here whittling down the time of your own death clock. I wonder… can you hear the seconds passing by?
The tick-tock, tick-tocking… the sound of it is deafening. That echo of finality is rambling down the highway of life, a head on collision is imminent, the grave waits for nobody.
In my younger years, I couldn’t hear the ticking of the clock.
In the end, time chases us all to that lonely, dark grave. So, let us get to this novel and its warning of the things that stalk the darkness; the telling of the ones who snatch the flesh from the living and the demons that consume the body until the blood is sucked dry.
That’s why we’re here.
THE GOD’S HONEST TRUTH
I have a story to tell you.
Monsters in the Woods isn’t just a work of scared shirtless fiction.
It’s real, it happened, and the reptilians I speak of still infest Earth!
I know this will scare you, maybe cause a nightmare or two… but for me that is success, I want you uncomfortable, biting the tips of your fingernails down to their bloody nubs, perchance grinding your teeth in a fit of vicious nerves. That’s bliss for me, watching you in libraries and bookstores, shifting your eyeballs from side to side, a nervous glance my way, a terrified expression planted squarely on your face. That’s where I need you… horrified of that unexplainable thud beneath your bed, a movement behind your Sunday shirts… way back in the closet.
Maybe there is a thump out in the darkness just beyond the darkened window. Haven’t you always suspected a butchering madman waiting out there in the dark?
Having eyeballed firsthand that type of butchery and coming to know those types of killers, I’ve come to prefer the chaos of my monsters.
It seems safer here somehow.
After all, Monsters In The Woods has roots in reality. It’s about a Reptilian race of beasts randomly documented and then… erased from our historical records.
This tale speaks of what if and oh, my!
Not long ago I happened across a Hopi Legend that spoke of the Reptilians who existed below the streets of downtown Hollywood.
Many claimed it was the stuff of science fiction.
And yet… as outlandish as the myth may seem for this modern age, let me remind you that humanity can’t even trace its own beginnings, other than to point to an ancient female hominid skeleton named Lucy who scientists believe existed 3.2 million years ago in the Awash Valley of the Afar Triangle of Ethiopia.
They say this thing started humanity.
That makes me laugh.
How does a virtual ape evolve into an intelligent race like Humankind without divine intervention? Dare I propose it’s unlikely we evolved from that thing?
Would you have me dragged out back and flogged at the suggestion?
It’s not like I’m proposing anything new. There is an abundance of evidence to prove other animals in the natural world don’t evolve, so why should we? Why aren’t we still evolving? As far as I’m concerned, evolution is an unnatural theory.
Dogs haven’t developed reasoning; they haven’t begun speaking,
Bears haven’t crawled out of the woods and become intelligent.
Did we miss something? Or is every species in nature the same as they’ve been from the beginning of time? Except Humanity.
The schemers want you to believe the ridiculous notion that birds and elephants developed from dinosaurs. If that’s true, why are alligators & crocodiles still just alligators and crocodiles?
Haven’t they been here from the beginning of time?
That brings me back to this story.
When I first heard about the existence of the Reptilians during a trip to the UFO Congress’ annual symposium in Arizona, I had to wonder… could there really be something to this tale? With billions of planets in the universe, isn’t it probable alien life is out there in space? And if that is true, why is it so fundamentally impractical to suppose creatures have come to hunt us? We hunt animals every day, after all… so, wouldn’t a species from another realm come here to hunt us?
There was only one way to tell for sure.
I had to uncover the tale.
Researching the reptilian story, I stumbled onto an interesting story.
In the summer of 1933, Los Angeles excavating engineer, G. Warren Shufelt, was busily surveying the earth below Hollywood for potential deposits of oil and gold using a new device he’d invented. Shufelt designed and built his radio-directed apparatus, which was able to locate gold and other precious resources at great depths. One day, while taking his readings near downtown, his instruments suddenly displayed a huge pattern of tunnels below the streets. Drawing a map, he was stunned at the enormity of such a well-planned underground labyrinth.
While his men dug the site, Warren rushed down to city hall and demanded he be allowed to excavate deeper into the newfound tunnels. But, Los Angeles city officials stopped the venture, thus begging the question… why stop the search?
What were they afraid of finding?
Why not either confirm or rule out the caverns?
What were THEY hiding down there?
Intrigued, I began researching other tales of reptilians. Pretty quickly, I discovered reports of the creatures witnessed elsewhere.
In 1955 Indiana, an encounter with The Green Clawed Beast got traction. The story went… that two friends were swimming in the Ohio River when they encountered a creature that pulled one of them under the waterline. With her friend looking on, Miss Darwin Johnson struggled back to the surface, kicking and thrashing for dear life. She claimed to have escaped a green and hairy claw.
Back on shore, a green handprint was discovered on her leg that she couldn’t wash off for days.
What the heck… you might say?
I know, I know, it sounded crazy to me, too… but the story would not end there.
Within a few days, the girls were visited by peculiar looking men who were dressed in solid black suits. Storming into their house, the agents ordered the girls to renounce all knowledge of the incident.
Does this all sound a tad familiar?
These Men in Black have been fictionalized by Hollywood for decades, with Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones making a joke of the entire subject.
But the reality is this: the agents of secrecy really do exist.
And, yet, if you type Men in Black into your Google browser the official Wikipedia page is all about the fictional Men in Black movie franchise. That’s how the ruling powers want it. They want you believing none of it is real. Have you ever heard the expression that if you want to hide something, then putting the secret in plain sight will make most people overlook the obvious?
You see, there is a systematic machine in place to hide, manipulate and cover up the facts. And yet, the stories of the Reptilians have been whispered everywhere…and for a long time.
In 1955, the Sutton family was entertaining a guest when ‘creatures from outer space’ invaded their home. The story went that a guest stepped outside to fetch water from a pump and saw strange lights in the sky. Shortly after the farmhouse was attacked by green creatures with skinny legs and large clawed hands.
Now, don’t laugh, these good people believed their encounter was real.
The Green Goblins attacked the house and had to be fought off with guns. You can look it all up. It’s out there waiting to be exposed.
Similar tales continue across America.
Massachusetts was also invaded.
The Dover Demon was alleged to have had a large spherical head with bright orange eyes. It had no mouth or nose and its limbs were long and thin which ended in long fingers. Witnesses said the skin was sandpaper-textured and green.
The legends flourish worldwide.
Although at first glance, Monsters In The Woods may seem like a tale woven from the active imagination of a novelist… I assure you, these monstrosities have been reported around the globe in various forms and descriptions. However I may describe them, they’ve been said to be the worst creatures conceivable.
Writing this in 2016, and following a close call with death, I feel a renewed obligation to spin you this tale. Maybe you should take it as a warning of things to come. You see, not long after the Dover Demon appeared, something similar arrived in New Windsor, New York. It had all the hallmarks of a b-list horror movie make-up job, and yet, there was something quite unsettling to the story… thus, I decided to write it all down.
Traveling to The McQuade Campus of Saint Christopher’s, Inc., a residential home for troubled kids, I went back to the scene of the war for control of this planet we call home.
I’m dying to tell you all about it.
But first, I have to state how it all began; otherwise you’ll not have the soggiest idea of where we’re headed. Are you ready? Can you handle the possibility that monsters are real?
They’ve always watched from the shadows, even when you think your safe, snuggled in the warmth of your quilted beds. They hide in the closet, stare through the windows, and sometimes wait under your bed.
The Monsters in the Woods have been here since the beginning of time.